“How to help 10-year-old boy with existential angst”

That’s the top search landing people on Nothing By The Book this week, but I’m not sure that you’re all finding the post that you’re seeking for. I think it’s this one: A love letter to the boy who’ll set the world on fire. I also think How I got deprogrammed and learned to love video games might contain some insight for some mothers of 10-year-old boys trying to understand what is going on inside their game-controller wielding sons.

I’m processing a bigger exposition on the changes my own 10–almost 10.5–year-old is going through, because it’s massive. The biggest one since five/five-and-a-half (I wrote about it here, Five is Hard: can you attachment parent the older child), and just as part of the solution at five was to make his world bigger, that certainly seems to be part of the key now.

But, that later. For now, I hope the love letter and the video game piece help you–spark off some ideas for what your little man is going through and how you can support him.


Game controller


Serious: When toddlers attack (surviving “That Hitting Things”) • Searching for strategies for Sensitive Seven • Five is hard: can you attachment parent an older child • It’s not about balance: Creating your family’s harmony • 10 habits for a happy home from the house of chaos and permissiveness • The ultimate secret behind parenting: it’s evolution, baby

Funny: Floor peas • The rarest song of all • Sarcasm, lawn darts, and toilets  • What humanitarian really means  • The sacrifices mothers make for their children (Warning: grossness factor uber-high)  • It’s all about presentation  • Anatomy talk, now and forever  • Want to hear all the swear words I know?  • Of the apocalypse, euphemisms and (un)potty training  • Mom? Have you noticed I’ve stopped…  • Poisonous Volvo

7 thoughts on ““How to help 10-year-old boy with existential angst”

    • Look for anything that gives him milestones, a sense of progress, achievement. Real work, if possible. I’ll get to that mega post soon, but in the interim, what I’m really trying to facilitate for Cinder: leadership opportunities and real work opportunities.

      Pure physical exhaustion helps too!

  1. You know, it’s funny how people find you through web searches. I’ve really had to question what the searches that turn up my blog post deliver to the people who find them. It’s certainly interesting to see how people find you.

    • It is odd, isn’t it. I’m new to the mechanics of it all, and find it extra fascinating. I had this one week when the leading search term that brought people to Nothing By The Book was… “expendable penis.” The result, I think, of a Cinder story about a “retractable penis” … Huge number of hits… but not exactly the readership I’m going for. 😛

      • One of the ones on my list is “fail naked family”. It really makes me wonder what people are looking for when they put that one in…and how the heck that relates to my blog at all!

      • OK, this is a very sad statement on me, but I know exactly what they’re looking for: there was this viral pic going around a few months ago: A Christmas pic of a four or five member nuclear family, that I think was supposed to be a tasteful, natural nude… but came out uber-creepy. Its tagline was Family Picture Fail or Naked Family Picture Fail.

        If in my forays on your blog I discover what’s been generating that search for you, I’ll let you know!

      • Wow…the things you don’t learn when you don’t pay attention to the viral pics going around. I can’t imagine how that would be linked to my blog. That’s kinda creepy. I know for sure those people aren’t finding what they’re looking for on my blog! If you figure it out, I’d be interested to know. This whole SEO stuff clearly doesn’t always work all that well…

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