Flora: Mom! Mom! I’ve got good news and bad news. What do you want first?
Jane: Always, good news first.
Flora: The good news is–I found you this awesome walking stick.
Jane: Cool. Thanks. What’s the bad news?
Flora: The bad news is, Cinder hit me in the face with a pool noodle.
Flora: The good news is, he didn’t mean it.
Jane: Oh, good.
Flora: The bad news is, it really hurt.
Jane: Oh, sweetheart.
Flora: The good news is, I had an opportunity to call him a dumb ass.
Flora: I’m not done yet. The bad news is, he then hit me with the pool noodle again.
Jane: This all happened, just now?
Flora: Well, I found this cool walking stick, and Cinder hit me with a pool noodle, and I called him a dumb ass. [Pause] I ran away to tell you about it when he hit with the pool noodle again. I came up with the presentation of it on my way up the stairs. What’d you think?
Jane: It was pretty good.
Flora: So… when can I get my own blog?
21st century children. Scary.