1

It’s a lazy sunny Sunday and I’m resting. But expanding some energy feeling guilty about it.

I could — should — clean. The floors are hairy and I haven’t given the bathrooms a proper clean for weeks.

Or I could go out. It’s a sunny, relatively warm winter day. I could spend it in the mountains or stroll along the river in the city. Or I could call a friend I haven’t seen in a while, catch up over coffee. Or I could go to a coffee shot alone. Or run to IKEA — I’ve been putting off buying an extra shelf divider for my bookcase. Or I could, whatever, window show at my favourite thrift shop or used book store.

But I just want to be a cat, sit on my couch and purr in the sun. Binge watch a show — I’ve just discovered The Foundation. I could read the rest of the stories in Jorge Luis Borges’ The Aleph. 

Or not even that — just staring out my window at the still sunny world outside sounds pretty good.

That’s all I want to do.

I’m a grown-ass, fully middle aged (when did that happen??) adult. I don’t owe anyone anything today. I don’t need to do anything — why do I feel guilty about simply being Why do I feel I need to do?

2

I don’t actually think there’s a second part to this mini-manifesto. You know the answer to the question I’m posing as well as I do. And telling you my take on it, well, it’s doing something.

I’m going to just be instead

Ha.

Small victories.

xoxo

“Jane”