Flora: Mom! Mom! I’ve got good news and bad news. What do you want first?

Jane: Always, good news first.

Flora: The good news is–I found you this awesome walking stick.

Jane: Cool. Thanks. What’s the bad news?

Flora: The bad news is, Cinder hit me in the face with a pool noodle.

Jane: Um…

Flora: The good news is, he didn’t mean it.

Jane: Oh, good.

Flora: The bad news is, it really hurt.

Jane: Oh, sweetheart.

Flora: The good news is, I had an opportunity to call him a dumb ass.

Jane: Flora…

Flora: I’m not done yet. The bad news is, he then hit me with the pool noodle again.

Jane: This all happened, just now?

Flora: Well, I found this cool walking stick, and Cinder hit me with a pool noodle, and I called him a dumb ass. [Pause] I ran away to tell you about it when he hit with the pool noodle again. I came up with the presentation of it on my way up the stairs. What’d you think?

Jane: It was pretty good.

Flora: So… when can I get my own blog?

21st century children. Scary.