To all the lawyers in my life, proof that you’ve inadvertently warped my children:
Jane: Flora, baby, what are you doing?
Flora: I’m writing Ender a cease and desist letter.
Jane: You’re what?
Flora: I’m writing Ender cease and desist letter. Telling him to stop taking my pets and chucking them down the stairs.
Jane: Baby, why don’t you just ask him to stop?
Flora: Ask him? But if I just do that, what proof will there be that it really happened?
Pause.
Flora: Do you still have your old tape recorder?
First published July 18, 2012, on Nothing By The Book.
Re-runs. You know what that means…
Photo: When she’s not writing him “Cease and desist” letters, he’s her biggest fan…
Nothing By The Book 
Oh my gosh. So funny!
Following her logic, I realize that is what I need to do with my husband, who always claims, when I ask him to stopping doing things like strewing his clothes – clean and dirty – all over the laundry room, it’s not his closet for Christ’s sake, that I told him no such thing.
God, you have smart kids.
Totally had me cracking up here and seriously my kids do things that this that just make me stop in my tracks, too!!
Flora is ADORABLE. And Ender is pretty cute too. I love them!
When do they get so smart like that? I love these conversations and that you record them!
You should name this “Shit my kids say”