Jane: Jeezus Keerist, what the hell are you guys doing? Stop! Stop right now!
Cinder: Mom! It’s sooo much fun!
Jane: If you’re going to keep on doing that, go down into the basement so I can’t see it. Go! Now!
Cinder to friend: C’mon, let’s go.
Friend: She really means that? We can keep on doing this in the basement?
Cinder: Yeah. But—like, if there’s blood or someone seriously gets hurt, she’s going to be massively pissed.
Friend: How pissed?
Cinder: Like epically pissed.
Friend: What will she do to us?
Cinder: Lecture-lecture-lecture-lecture-blah-blah-blah. It’s awful.
Friend: Would she get bandaids first?
Jane: I’m right here. Listening!
Cinder: Well, what will you do if there’s blood?
Jane: Lecture-lecture-lecture-lecture-blah-blah-blah until your ears fall off. Then I’d go get the bandaids. So—no blood.
Friend: I’m never really sure if your mom’s really cool or kind of weird.
Cinder: Me neither. Let’s go before she really thinks about this and changes her mind.
A. You don’t want to know what they were doing. I’m still pretending I didn’t see it.
B. There was no blood. Thank the gods. More miraculously, I don’t think they broke anything…
C. The Cinder knows his mother well, doesn’t he? Yup. He sure does.
Photo 1 via Zemanta: 1, 2, 3 Tae Kwon do (Photo credit: Claudio.Ar). Photo 2 via Wikipedia. And what they were doing… way worse.
Nothing By The Book 
Cinder can definitely predict his mother’s behavior. But, I like the fact that he can’t determine if you’re “cool or kind of weird.” I too hope to be labeled somewhere between the two. Just think, there are far worse things kids could say about their mothers!
Absolutely. Boring, for example. 😛
I am with you on having them do stuff like this out of my eye viewing. If I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist. Also loved the talk there ears off until they bleed part, because that is so me, too!! Great post Jane 🙂
One day I will master the art of the pithy, to-the-point-and-it-s-over “lecture.” In the meantime… it’s a powerful weapon in the arsenal. 😛
OMG, you are an awesome mom. I hope to relax my grip on the hand sanitizer long enough to allow me to do this kind of stuff, too. 🙂
See no evil, hear no evil… if it’s in the basement…
Oh Jane!!! How I love this one so!!
Your kids are too funny, and you are such a great, chill mom
Thank you. ❤
This is why every family needs to live in a home with a basement.
Right on. (Or an attic, garage or… cave?)
Crawlspace?!
Crawlspace! Yes! Sound-proofed, padded crawlspace!
Yes, they do know us well. I am way too used to the fighting and horsing around because I have 3 boys. I too sometimes tell them that they are “on their own” when they are wrestling or whatever and to come get me when there’s blood.
Jane, I love you. And I love your disclaimer about “fake following” in your side bar 🙂
Life’s too short to read boring blog posts, kwim? Or even to pretend to read boring blog posts… (Aren’t you glad you’re not boring?)
I am SO glad I’m not boring. I always knew a little bit of crazy would do me good 😉
Where is this fake following disclaimer you speak of? I think I want one, even though I’m not sure what it is….
When you hover over my follow button, Deb, you get this: “Like what you read? Follow Nothing By The Book. I do check out the bloggers who follow us, and reciprocate if we’re kindred spirits. But a note to pure strategic followers: I *only* reciprocate if we’re kindred spirits and I plan to read you. I don’t do “fake” following: if I’m following you, it means I read you. For my own part, I too want real readers, not just numbers. If I haven’t alienated you with these caveats, click Follow now. If I have… you’re probably not reading anymore… so I’ll stop writing… now.”
…altho that might only be for wordpressers…
On her side bar near the “subscribe” option. Hilarious!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Awesome. I think the fact that they are not sure if you are cool or weird makes you AUTOMATICALLY COOL.
I’ll take that. 🙂
Hey, I’m trying to comment on your blog today and I’m being eaten. This is what I’m trying to say: I’ve promised my children that when they are teenagers, I will never, ever complain when they sleep in until 2 p.m. Never.
A few months ago, I had to go away for 2-nights-3-days on a work thing — first time since the third was born, I think — and the absolutely best thing about the trip? The morning lay-in. Oh yes. Even better than the uninterrupted night-s sleep. 🙂 To many more! xoxo
If you haven’t gotten one yet, have a Versatile Blogger Award! You deserve it well.
http://inkcaster.wordpress.com/2013/02/06/versatility/
Thanks, babe.
Wow your house sounds soo like ours! I can imagine myself saying the exact same things to my kids. I find myself pretty hard to describe in terms of parenting-style, but “un-helicopter” does the job well!
It’s a useful phrase, ain’t it? I detest the phrase “helicopter parenting”; honestly, I think most parents so branded truly aren’t–like all of us, everyone does the best they can given their circumstances etc.–but un-helicopter parentings is a useful label for some of the stuff that happens at this house of chaos and permissiveness…
I hope I’m that chill when my kids get older. I suspect that if I’m not, my husband will pour me a glass of wine and hook me up with a movie and snack in another room. Sometimes boys have to be allowed to be boys – but I don’t want to see it!
They ease you into it. The insanity increases in intensity with age. Nature has a plan.
I’m dreisappointed. Really. I am a boy, you have to tell us, in detail, what they were doing exactly.
It will make a very interesting blog. Tell it like you are describing telling your husband maybe? 😉
Are you mad? Do you think I told him the first time? I need him to trust to leave me alone with the children… ;P