Client: What I want you to do is, well—I want you to read my mind and to deliver a product that’s exactly what I need and want it to be—without me having to tell you what it is that I want and need. Got it? I don’t actually want to take the time to give you instructions, to explain to you what I want.
Jane: Yeah… that’s not gonna work.
Sean: Love, but the problem is, you don’t want to tell me what you need and want. You want me to read your mind.
Jane: What’s so fucking hard about that?
Why I love him: he heard that first conversation. And he doesn’t call me a hypocrite.
You: I would really love to watch you write.
Jane: Yeah… watching a writer write is about as exciting as watching paint dry.
Flora: Not! True! She makes the most amusing, the most horrible faces.
Cinder: And sometimes, if you time it just right—if, at just the right moment, you say, “Mom! Where’s the charger for the iPad?” or “Mooooom! I’m hungry!”—she channels Cthulhu. And. It’s. Awesome.
The goddamn bums. Did you catch that? They. Do. It. On. Purpose.
Oh, for a room of her own… with a lock on the door.
I can read Ender’s mind. Totally.
Jane: Don’t even think about it.
Ender: Come on!
Jane: No! Way!
Ender: Humph. Fine.
He stalks off. I dial.
Jane: Hi, Ender’s on his way to your house. Whatever he asks—I already said no.
Her: K. Good to know.
It takes a village, don’t you know.
Client: This isn’t at all what I had in mind.
Jane: Good. Now I have a little more information. I still don’t know what you want. But I have a better idea of what you don’t want. Let’s talk about what, specifically, you don’t like about this.
Client: I don’t know. It just doesn’t speak to me. It doesn’t pop. Make it… snappier. More… you know… more… something or other, you know? Like this… but different.
Jane: You’re fired.
Interlude: A neighbourhood cat wanders into my basement office while I write. Sniffs around. Possibly pees in the laundry room.
You can’t watch me write, lover. But next week, I’ll tell you how I cook. It’s like writing… but different.