Sarcasm, lawn darts and toilets

Lawn Dart - Value Village, Vancouver, BC

 

Cinder: Mom! Ender put the lawn darts in the toilet!

Jane: Oh, great.

Ender: Great!

Cinder: Mom? Did you forget that two-year-olds don’t understand sarcasm? Cause he now thinks that you think that him putting the lawn darts in the toilet was great.

Jane: Oh, great.

Cinder: You know I understand sarcasm, right?

Jane: Yup.

Cinder: Do you think it’s appropriate to be sarcastic with your loving son who’s only trying to be helpful?

Oh, great.

Cinder: Mom? I think Ender just put your contacts in the toilet. No, false alarm, he put your contact lens case in the toilet. He put your contact lenses down the sink drain. Jeezus, this drain is disgusting. Oh, he’s shoved a bunch of Lego in here too…

Jane: Cinder? I asked you to watch Ender, why are you just standing there, letting Ender put things in the toilet?

Cinder: You asked me to watch him, you didn’t ask me to stop him from doing stuff.

Jane: Oh, great.

Cinder: Isn’t it?

Great. Just great. Where’s my sarcasm sign?

PS, they weren’t the *illegal* lawn darts as featured above. They were the perfectly safe–unless you flush them down the toilet–bean-bag bottomed lawn darts. Just so you don’t think I’m totally negligent.

Photo credit: HeyRocker, Lawn Dart – Value Village, Vancouver, BC