Polonius: What do you read, my Lord?
Hamlet: Words, words, words.
That would be a pretentious warning that the following rerun contains words that may offend. Well, just one. But repeated a lot. Because. This is a story of Ender learning to say… ROCK.
Yes, rock can be a dirty word. Read on.
(Originally published on November 22, 2011, when Ender was two’ish.)
Ender learned a new word today. His fourth or fifth I suppose. I’m so proud. I only wish his pronunciation was a mite better…
We’re at the Glenbow Museum, yyc’s answer to whatever THE museum in your town is. It has armour, paintings. Teepees. Rocks. That’s the trouble…
Cinder and Flora do their crafts in the Discovery Room, and then decide that they want to show Ender the rocks and minerals collection. We go up. They all pet the geode. (There’s a pet geode you can pet there. For real. You should come visit.) And Cinder says,
“See, Ender? You know what that is? A rock. That’s a rock.”
And Ender, adulation in his eyes, looks at his big brother and says…
Flora’s eyes get big as saucers. Cinder howls and howls. “Yes, Ender, that’s a fuck. A great big fuck.” Sideways glance at me. “What? He said it first.”
Jane: “Doesn’t mean you have to say it.”
Cinder: “You say it’s ok for us to swear when it’s appropriate.”
Jane: “I’d say right now is not appropriate.”
Cinder: “Fine. Ender? Come with Bubba. Look here. What’s this?”
Cinder: “And this?”
Cinder: “How about these over here?”
Ender: “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”
I may never be able to return to the Glenbow again.
2014: I’ve been back. I have no shame.
PS Looking for me? Awesome. Click here.
Why the rerun: Nothing By The Book is taking a page from old school un-social media and doing a re-run summer, while I spend the hot days getting a tan, running through sprinkles, selling one book, writing another, reading two dozen more, neglecting my garden, falling in love, jumping off cliffs—you know. Everything but blogging. But, you get reruns of my favourite stuff, so everyone wins. Likely keeping up with Instagram—NothingByTheBook—connect there, if you like? Or Twitter—Follow @nothingbtbook or/and Follow @paddleink.”
Revisiting the scenes of old crimes is like dropping in on an old friend that you haven’t seen in ages. It’s curiously cathartic and the anticipation may or may not exceed the actuality of the event. Hopefully ALL of the kids mispronounced “Rock” this time to make your visit worthwhile. They say that you should always up the ante…