Jane: ARE! YOU! TRYING! TO! DRIVE! ME! CRA-ZEEEE!?!
Cinder: Um, no, Mom, this is just us being normal. If we were trying to drive you crazy—Flora! Ender! Come how Mom what it would be like if we were trying to drive Mom crazy on purpose!
Flora: Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist.
Ender: I pooped my pants. And you can’t clean my bum. I pooped my pants. And you can’t clean my bum. I. POOOPED. M-AAAAAA-YYYYY…
Cinder: I know a song which will annoy, which will annoy, which will annoy / I know a song which will annoy, which will annoy, which will annoy / I know a song which will annoy…
Cinder: Now do you see the difference?
Jane: Fine. Yes. You were just being normal. Today, your normal is driving me crazy. Go and be unnormal—and, I don’t know, quiet. Repressed.
Flora: Here, Mom, chocolate? And, I think Ender really did poop his pants.
P.S. Dear future girlfriends, boyfriends, and perhaps spouses of my children: I’m sorry. Yes, it’s all my fault. And if you think you can fix them—ha. Good luck with that. You’ve just got to love them as they are, you know.
P.P.S. “What the hell is this? I heard you were this profound, sagacious, over-flowing with widsom mama. I mean, last Tuesday’s post on the “It Gets Easier” Lie was brilliant! That’s why I’m here!” Um. Sorry. I’m only ever insightful and wise on Tuesdays, and then, honestly, not every Tuesday. On Fridays, we laugh, always. Or at least try not to cry. But if you want serious, have you read my almost-viral (she has delusions of grandeur) Tongues Off My Facebook post? If not, you might want to. Cause it rocks. And if you want hard-core attachment parenting ranting, I refer you to Why Isn’t It Natural? a heart-wrenching wail about why no little about parenting seems to come to us :naturally.”
P.P.P.S. Some things from this week’s blog box I really enjoyed:
Rachel at Tao of Poop reveals she has a past!
Kimberly at All Work And No Play Make Mommy Go Something Something confesses that she’s a snail killer.
Jenn at Something Clever 2.0 tells you how to cure writer’s block.
P.P.P.P.S. And thank you for Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday’s delusions of viral grandeur. I enjoyed them immensely. Now back to web obscurity…
Sounds totally normal to me at least around these parts, lol!! 🙂
Our definition of normal changes post-motherhood, right? 🙂
Totally normal? When you’re drinking…
Thank you for the shout out and have a great weekend! A normal one.
No such thing. You’re very welcome.
This is such a fun post, except for the fact I now have that annoying song in my head.
Please tell me he didn’t really poop his pants. (I know he did. I just know it.)
Why? Why do you do this to me? 🙂
I love it!!! A great Friday laugh. Keep sane.
You too. Well, as sane as we can, right?
I love it that they always offer you chocolate after these exchanges. 🙂
Dani said it before I could!! Smart, smart kids 😉
I’ve trained them well. Or have they trained me?
Yes, it all sounds painfully familiar, the normal and abnormal. As for Tuesday’s high, I understand how you feel. We can’t be wise all the time, it would be exhausting. For everyone involved. This was a fun post!
Thank you muchly.
Ha! Moist. Man oh man . . . to play on Wordsworth:
The Child is father of the (Wo)Man;
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by hopeful sanity.
Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist.
Made me laugh so much!
I’m glad. 🙂
Why, thank you! And have I told you yet this week how much I love you and your hilarious children?
Um, no, not yet this week. Carry on.
Love it! “moist moist moist” – what an icky word, for real.
It’s all your hint that I’ve let my 8 y o watch How I Met Your Mother. If you watch HIMYM. If you don’t, then it’s just an icky word.
I think versatility makes a great blogger, and I love this just as much as when you being brilliant. So. Keep it up.
“Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist…”. Hahaha! These kids are no joke!!!
And congrats on all the acknowledgement & love you’ve received this week, you totally deserve it!
Thank you beautifully.
LOL! That could be stuff said at my house! 😀
Clones. They’re all clones…
I have a friend who can’t stand the word moist, now there are too of you! How weird is that!!! Your house is like Isaiah x3. That’s 3 more than I can handle!
It gets easier… oh, wait, no it doesn’t.
Your children’s craziness makes me laugh really hard and marvel at their genius. It could be A LOT worse than that! And…re: the p.p.s…no need, whatsoever, to apologize for this post!! Finally, p.p.p.s….thank you for the holler. I am beyond honored to have my name and post grace a page of this blog. And what a smart idea to do that at the bottom of a post. I like it. Can I steal it?
But of course. I’ve probably stolen it from someone else… Uhm, not stolen–been inspired by and implemented. Yeah. That’s how we spin it.