I spent a fabulous weekend recently partying with some fabulous people in their mid-to-late 30s who were all childless and waiting for the “right” moment to start their family. At the end of the fabulous weekend, I went back to my partner and our three squiggly kids, who covered me with sloppy kisses, and they went back to… waiting for the right time.
It’s a very popular notion among in Western society today—waiting to have children until the time is right: until you have your career at the right point, the right house, the right car, the right balance in your bank account… I personally believe there are few cultural fallacies that as potently contribute to people’s unhappiness. What point in your career is the right point? What amount of money is sufficient? You could always make more (and spend more)…
But then, we’re a family where the money comes from freelance writing and film-making, so really, waiting for financial stability as most people define it was never in the cards in the life plan. And if I were to do it all over again—if anything, I would have had the little bums sooner and closer together.
If you’re reading me, you’re probably not waiting to have children—you’ve got them. Do you think they came at the right time? Do you think they came too early? Or did you wait too long?
The adjustment to parenthood and familyhood is never easy. Is it easier if you go straight into it after a short period together as a couple… or after years or decades of “couplehood”?
Life happens as it does, and so many of our life choices aren’t really choices. Ya’ can’t have them babies until you find the right partner. Ya both need to want them… ya both need to be on the same page… ya both have to think it’s the “right” time.
But if your idea of the “right” time is the “perfect” time, the “ideal” time… well. There’s no such thing.
(Creative Commons photo with the tag: Babies are always the same. Ha ha.)
Hey, if you’re in your twenties and cringing at this, visit The Rambling Amazon and read why she doesn’t want to have kids right now for a counterpoint.