I.

Ender: Ma-ma! Ma-ma! Come to the tub!

Jane: Sweetness, in a few minutes, I’m finishing cleaning the sink… What is this gunk?

Ender: No! Mama come in tub now!

Jane: Dude, what’s the rush?

Ender: I need to pee… and I want to pee on YOU!

Sale fail. 

II.

Flora: Mom? Why is the oregano in the tin that’s labeled red lentils?

Jane: It’s a long and boring story. The important thing is you found it.

Flora: Where are the red lentils?

Jane: In the ziploc bag labeled brown rice.

Flora: Is that a long and boring story too?

Jane: No, that one’s actually pretty exciting. Want to hear it?

Flora: No, not really.

Thwarted.

III.

Flora: Mom? Why is there a flat poop floating in the toilet?

Jane: Um… I guess I forgot to flush the toilet when I last changed Ender.

Flora: But why is the poop flat?

Jane: It’s a long and boring story.

Flora: Oh, I’m not in a rush. Why don’t you tell it to me while I poop?

Jane: Seriously? That’s the story you want to hear?

Flora: You can tell me the rice and lentil tin stories too if you really want to.

Why is she humouring me? What is she plotting?

I love them bums terribly.