The Last Three Minutes

…of Ender’s (otherwise atrociously long) arrival

Me: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Why … Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! won’t Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! this Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! contraction Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! end? HELP ME!
Nurse Sue: Jane, is the baby coming?
Me: How… Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! the fuck Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! should I know?
Sean: That’s the head!
Nurse Sue: Push the red button?
Sean: What red button?
Me: Aaaaaaah!
Someone else (who ran into the room post-red button pushing): Stop screaming and use that energy to push that baby out!
My mom to the above: Shut up! She’s doing great!
Me: aaah… mmmmmmmm
Sean: Oh my god he’s out.
Me: [collapse and utter joy, incoherent babbling]
Doctor (entering room): What’s… oh my god, there’s the baby. When did she start pushing?
Nurse Sue: Well, the baby was born at 7:38, so I’d say 7:37.

8 thoughts on “The Last Three Minutes

  1. Pingback: Before Ender | nothingbythebook

  2. Pingback: Octobers of the past retrospective | Nothing By The Book

  3. Pingback: Any way they have to come: why you should throw out that birth plan and just have that baby | Nothing By The Book

  4. Pingback: On bears, birthdays and statements of fact | Nothing By The Book

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